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| STRESS.
I am in a situation where the person I look up to is crying hysterically and I can't do anything about the situation. I can only listen. It's one of those situations were your little sister or brother is being bullied at school but you cant do anything.
My mother has been suffering a lot lately. She comes home from work frustrated and stressed out. I thought it was just because work was getting a little harder and she has more patients or something along the lines of that. She has a new supervisor and they are changing some rules of the hospital. Tonight while we were watching tv she just started crying hysterically. I was on the phone but after I saw her I sat by her side and was trying to console her. Then she started talking about how work is so hard and that they are so mean with the new rule changes. Emails go out to all the nurses and usually have a ridiculous new rule posted about how you cant eat breakfast at work anymore and if your hungry just eat at home. Another rule is how you cant complain anymore about patients and you can get written up about it. But all this change is forcing stress on my mom. Even her coworker's husband said he is not happy with how his wife comes home and told her to find another job.
She already takes ambien but she wakes up after 4 hours of sleep and takes another one. Its really hard to see my mother in this condition. What is worse is that im leaving for school in a couple of days. So i wont get to be with her during the next couple of months while shes going through this ordeal. I am already starting to cry as I type this but I just hope everything works out. Right now she is trying to find another hospital to work at but its hard because shes been with this one for years already.
I am very frustrated with this situation to the fact I am willing to find out who this woman is that is causing all this stress to my mom. I know her name. At the moment I am trying to find out what she looks like. So if i ever see her I would beat her the fuck up. FUCKING CUNT.
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I remember when august came around and I would sniff the wind and be like.. "It smells like august." I can still do it but since global warming is fucking up the climate I cant smell anything right now. Usually there is a crisp breeze which has a smell between aluminum and leaves. I dunno im weird like that but thats what it smells like. What I loved about august was spending money on new pencils and markers. Fuck the clothes, I went to catholic school so I had the same outfit. But man oh man I loved getting new markers and crayons.
Then during highschool I would wait for the bus. It would be so cold in the morning that I could see my breath and the lawns looked like they were covered in ice because of the morning dew.
Those were the days.
So in two weeks I go back to school. Ughh I cant wait, I get new dorms. Brand spanking new building. I will be living with three other people in a suite. One of my roomates became an RA so he got yanked out of our suite and got put back in the old building where I was living.
The only thing about this new building its about 6 blocks away from the actual school. And my friend that became RA lives right across the street from school. So I have to wake up a little earlier and walk my ass to class, which wont be fun when its raining. But I am so stoked for school. I cant wait to party. hahah. Ive been trying not to go out as much during the summer so that I dont feel as guilty spending my parents money during the year. I was supposed to freelance this summer but that failed massively.
For my blog pic I woke up yesterday morning and loved the light so I took a couple of pictures of myself on my desk. I was inspired by V magazine, its so striking with that V. I've got to say its one of those magazine covers I constantly like to look at.
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BREASTH-TAKING I asked my cousin if she watched porn, and she said yes. Girls: Do you ? Boys: What do you think?
Photography By: Willy Vanderperre
Blog: Kanye
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| THE PLUS ONE.
In a couple of weeks im going to a party for my friends birthday. I just found out today that two of my past crushes are going to be there.... with their current boyfriend/girlfriend. I haven't hung out with them together in a while, maybe even years. but what am I supposed to do when I have no body next to me. I'm going to feel like the uber fifth wheel. There are going to be other people at this party but the only thing going through my head is that I didnt bring anybody! I have a lot of friends but they just dont live around me. haha. sounds great doesnt it. I have been calling the people that I am considering but they all have their cons if I did decide to bring them.
Sitting here the past hour I've realized something....should I really be worried? Worried that I didnt bring anybody? Or should I be celebrating that I am single?
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